Home makeover

3 March 2019 14:13
prettygoodyear: (random text- clean all the things)
My living room has been pretty much the same ever since I moved out of my parents house, 16 years ago. I loved the red wall, and the setup was one I still liked. But for a while, I wantd to change some things. I still had an unused desk downstairs for instance, that didn't really fit. So a few weeks ago I made a trip to Ikea and found things I liked.
Last week I took everything down, and repainted the wall. I still wanted it to be red, but it was a massive struggle. In the end the wall was painted 5 times, from red, to grey. And it's finally okay. Big change, from red, to grey, but it's actually quite nice. Yesterday my dad and I put everything together and I am quite pleased with how everything looks.

53165182_2160791030653512_8032438766008270848_o
51885833_2160791110653504_3931460630074097664_o
52933006_2160791053986843_6589151234236612608_o
53110988_2160791040653511_3760525441408958464_o
accomplished
Mood:: accomplished
Tags:

The end of chemo

21 March 2016 20:20
prettygoodyear: (random text - farewell)
After 7 months, the chemo has come to an end. Was supposed to get my final round of chemo today, but it turned out my leucocytes were too low again, so the chemo has been cancelled. Third time a chemo has been cancelled on me due too low blood levels. So last week actually marked the end of the chemo, instead of today.

How does it feel to have finished this part of the cancer journey? Of course it's wonderful that I won't have to endure chemo anymore, because boy oh boy has it been hard, difficult, long. I lost almost 20 kilos because of it, have endured endless cries, tears, have been angry and upset so many times because of it. For several months this felt like a never-ending battle. And now it is done. I need to give it time to have it sink in. I need to adjust. For 7 months this was my new reality, I adjusted to it, no matter how hard it was. It's scary to enter another phase, to say goodbye this part. I will adjust, I will be fine, but I'm just someone who needs her time, who's not good with change.

Two weeks from now I'll get the scans, a few days later the results. Will the chemo have done the job it was supposed to do?

What a rollercoaster this cancer ordeal is. I realise that so many times. Part 1 is finished now, part 2 is awaiting me. But not yet. Now I'll have 2 weeks of quiet, of healing. And also a short holiday to the south this weekend. Was there 1 day before the chemo begun, and will be there at the end of it all.

Seven months...you never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only option...



Also, look what I did last Saturday:


contemplative
Mood:: contemplative
Tags:

Another long, rambling post about my life

12 January 2014 20:52
prettygoodyear: (tv - Top Gear -journey)
Happiness…

I was reading old diaries of mine. I keep one since the age of 12. I think it was near the end of 2003 when my thoughts and feelings got darker and darker. There were moments of joy, but I found it hard to fit into this world. Things got worse when I moved out of the house into my apartment at the end of 2003. I think that every entry was about me being confused about life, work etc… Of course I also tend to write down my thoughts more when it involves a stressful situation, and keeping an online journal also often prevented me from writing in my physical journal. But still. For over 10 years now I seem to struggle with the same things: a feeling of not belonging here, a need for freedom.

( more ramblings this way )

I know the only right decision would be to quit this job and do something I love. I hope to be able to do just one day soon. (I still wish the idea of a basic income for all, of which you could live off without a job would become reality for all one day soon. It would make life so much easier for so many people and in the end would benefit so many things. For more info: http://www.globalincome.org/English/Global-Basic-Income.html)

Let me end this long post with a song, one of my favourite songs of all times:



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determined
Mood:: determined
Tags:

Back again

25 October 2012 19:51
prettygoodyear: (random text - it would be nice if someth)
After an almost 2 month hiatus I once more write an entry here. Back in September I really thought I was done with LJ, but 2 months later I realise how I miss sharing my thoughts and write them down in English. 

So...what had happened in those 2 months: not much really, just life in general. Work happened again, working a day less this year which is still the best decision of my life so far. Read some books, though not as much as I wanted. Am now enjoying an autumn holiday, which is always a nice thing to have. My niece spent the weekend here last weekend which was fun, though tiresome. Discovered Spotify about 3 weeks ago and am in love with it. Life is good right now and I'm back at LJ for as long as it lasts. Feels nice to write again. 
good
Mood:: good
Tags:
prettygoodyear: (Default)

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