The end of chemo
21 March 2016 20:20After 7 months, the chemo has come to an end. Was supposed to get my final round of chemo today, but it turned out my leucocytes were too low again, so the chemo has been cancelled. Third time a chemo has been cancelled on me due too low blood levels. So last week actually marked the end of the chemo, instead of today.
How does it feel to have finished this part of the cancer journey? Of course it's wonderful that I won't have to endure chemo anymore, because boy oh boy has it been hard, difficult, long. I lost almost 20 kilos because of it, have endured endless cries, tears, have been angry and upset so many times because of it. For several months this felt like a never-ending battle. And now it is done. I need to give it time to have it sink in. I need to adjust. For 7 months this was my new reality, I adjusted to it, no matter how hard it was. It's scary to enter another phase, to say goodbye this part. I will adjust, I will be fine, but I'm just someone who needs her time, who's not good with change.
Two weeks from now I'll get the scans, a few days later the results. Will the chemo have done the job it was supposed to do?
What a rollercoaster this cancer ordeal is. I realise that so many times. Part 1 is finished now, part 2 is awaiting me. But not yet. Now I'll have 2 weeks of quiet, of healing. And also a short holiday to the south this weekend. Was there 1 day before the chemo begun, and will be there at the end of it all.
Seven months...you never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only option...
Also, look what I did last Saturday:
How does it feel to have finished this part of the cancer journey? Of course it's wonderful that I won't have to endure chemo anymore, because boy oh boy has it been hard, difficult, long. I lost almost 20 kilos because of it, have endured endless cries, tears, have been angry and upset so many times because of it. For several months this felt like a never-ending battle. And now it is done. I need to give it time to have it sink in. I need to adjust. For 7 months this was my new reality, I adjusted to it, no matter how hard it was. It's scary to enter another phase, to say goodbye this part. I will adjust, I will be fine, but I'm just someone who needs her time, who's not good with change.
Two weeks from now I'll get the scans, a few days later the results. Will the chemo have done the job it was supposed to do?
What a rollercoaster this cancer ordeal is. I realise that so many times. Part 1 is finished now, part 2 is awaiting me. But not yet. Now I'll have 2 weeks of quiet, of healing. And also a short holiday to the south this weekend. Was there 1 day before the chemo begun, and will be there at the end of it all.
Seven months...you never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only option...
Also, look what I did last Saturday:
