Ever since I started to teach, now about 10 years ago I, from time to time, have these nightmares in which none of the kids listen, I yell, yell louder, yell even more louder and still nothing helps. Everyone jumps around, do as they please and it pretty much is one big mess. Whenever I wake up I feel relieved, it was just a dream and though I doubt myself as a teacher so often, it never actually gets that bad.
Well...it never did until yesterday afternoon. I think I was not in an all too best mood, because dear god I've been tired for too long. I heard myself respond to things I could have easily ignored and all would have been fine. But no. I had to make a point somehow? The kids were all over the place that afternoon, not listening at all. I promised them that the final 45 minutes they got to work on the project they so loved. God, it went insane after that. Yelling, running around, just doing as they pleased. Basically all things that always happened in my nightmares and stayed there now came true. It was awful. I felt awful. I even got a girl into tears because I spoke another language than her and misunderstood her. So that involved a dad ranging up after school. I still can't believe this actually happened. It was a small comfort to hear all classes had issues with their kids, but still. This was a super, super low for me. I had a day off today, which was good, but tomorrow I will at least apologize to the girl for getting her upset. Even though I never meant to upset her, still. I remember having these teachers that always clashed with me and pretended they were better than me. I don't want to be like that.
Yesterday was a god awful day, now to be able to just let go and accept it for what it was....
Well...it never did until yesterday afternoon. I think I was not in an all too best mood, because dear god I've been tired for too long. I heard myself respond to things I could have easily ignored and all would have been fine. But no. I had to make a point somehow? The kids were all over the place that afternoon, not listening at all. I promised them that the final 45 minutes they got to work on the project they so loved. God, it went insane after that. Yelling, running around, just doing as they pleased. Basically all things that always happened in my nightmares and stayed there now came true. It was awful. I felt awful. I even got a girl into tears because I spoke another language than her and misunderstood her. So that involved a dad ranging up after school. I still can't believe this actually happened. It was a small comfort to hear all classes had issues with their kids, but still. This was a super, super low for me. I had a day off today, which was good, but tomorrow I will at least apologize to the girl for getting her upset. Even though I never meant to upset her, still. I remember having these teachers that always clashed with me and pretended they were better than me. I don't want to be like that.
Yesterday was a god awful day, now to be able to just let go and accept it for what it was....
