prettygoodyear: (Default)
Fuck. This morning at 8.00 I got woken up by some noise from around me. I live in an apartment, and you can hear anything there. Anyway...the last couple of months they are renovating the entire flat. This morning they started to renovate the apartment next to me, the one above it and the one below it. The noises were terrible. They weren't even that loud, but I can't stand any noises that are a bit too loud. They really hurt my ears, go right through my soul and leave me EXTREMELY upset. Part of me being a HSP. I'm just extremely sensitive to sounds and noises.
Anyway...at 10.30 I left my apartment and went over to my parents cause I was almost crying because I couldn't block the noises out.
Next week they'll be doing my apartment, the one above mine and the one below. I feel extremely nervous about it, cause then I can't escape home and all the sounds will be in my apartment. I don't know how to handle it. The thought it of it alone leaves me upset.

This may all sound extremely stupid, but seriously, I can't help it. Loud noises always leave me upset. Alarms, sirens etc...etc...whenever I hear the, I get upset. To be surrounded by them for an entire day will drive me nuts. I have no idea what to do next week, but I know that I just can't be around the entire day...

:(
prettygoodyear: (Default)
I'm so tired these days and my head feels like it's about to explode. It's full of thoughts and questions and I can't seem to find the switch-off button. The tiniest things feel like major obstacles these days, but whenever i sit down for a minute, my mind goes wild on me and i have to do this and that.
I have so many questions right now, but so little time to get them answered. I just go and do this and that, while my body screams for some time off.
And then guilt enters my head, cause i can't seem to understand why I, still so young, feel like an old wreck these days. So many people seem to be able to do so much more than me and still feel okay. While I, after a week of work, NEED at least two days to recover from it. Not because I'm ill, just because I'm me...this HSP being who experience everything a billion times more intense than other people....

But try to explain that to the world, ha...if i have a hard time understanding it, than how the hell should they be able to understand it?

Anyway...gonna do the dishes now, so at least the kitchen will look neat again and I won't feel so guilty for all the mess. Then I need to start packing for my short camp tomorrow...I HATE camping...haha.
prettygoodyear: (Default)
Every Sunday night, my hearts start beating like a maniac cause I have a whole new week of work ahead. This week it's even worse, cause I have a fucked up weekend lying ahead of me. After i have had Tuesday off this week, I will work from Wednesday till Monday..so even on Saturday and Sunday. Friday will be the worst day, cause I have to do stuff I'm never good at, and I always feel stupid then. And Sunday, cause after a whole day of 'fun', we have to clean up the mess AND then later that night I have to go to a school party. Now being the HSP that I am, it means bad stuff. I remember it from all years before. I sure had some fun those days, of course, but it floors me as well. But if I don't go to the party, people won't understand...they never do...
prettygoodyear: (Default)

December 2019

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