So...then what?
15 February 2010 21:58![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
prettygoodyearSo...today at work my boss walked over to me and asked me if we could have a chat for a bit. A colleague of mine, who has been diagnosed with cancer two years ago, won't be coming back, the replacement teacher they got can't handle the class at all. So basically, they have no one to teach the class (for 2 days). They have put advertisements in the papers, but so far gotten no response (because of course they didn't put it in the papers till today...duh). His question to me was if I was prepared to give up my own class I teach on Thursday and Friday to teach that other class, with younger children. Because I've done it before and because he thinks I'm capable of it. My co-worker will then take over our class full-time. He told me it's only temporarily, until they find a replacement teacher again, but it could well be I'd be teaching that class till the end of this school year. Of course I told him I need to think about it, to which he responded I shouldn't wait too long cause he wants it to happen after our next holiday, which happens to start this Friday. Fun.
Of course I don't really have a choice, though during our meeting of this afternoon it became clear there are other options, just not great options when it turns out to be a long term plan. So basically I just have to say yes. And I just have no idea what to do. A part of me is just saying "fine, whatever" mostly based on a lot of guilt. But also a tiny part of me wanting to proof to myself I can do this. Another part of me isn't ready to let go of her own class. I enjoy teaching that class so much. They are older children, and I prefer them. But maybe I should just say I'm willing to teach till the next holiday, which will start in May. Then again...I'd miss out on a lot of fun things in my own class. Projects and such. Ugh...I should make a pros and cons list. And I shouldn't try so hard to fix everything for everyone and then forgetting about me. If another colleague of mine can just say "no" then why can't I? Maybe I should discuss that? Just ask why he says no without feeling guilty etc...? Hmm...maybe. Maybe tomorrow evening, just for my own sake and learning process.
Decisions...decisions I don't want to make. At least I have tomorrow off.
Of course I don't really have a choice, though during our meeting of this afternoon it became clear there are other options, just not great options when it turns out to be a long term plan. So basically I just have to say yes. And I just have no idea what to do. A part of me is just saying "fine, whatever" mostly based on a lot of guilt. But also a tiny part of me wanting to proof to myself I can do this. Another part of me isn't ready to let go of her own class. I enjoy teaching that class so much. They are older children, and I prefer them. But maybe I should just say I'm willing to teach till the next holiday, which will start in May. Then again...I'd miss out on a lot of fun things in my own class. Projects and such. Ugh...I should make a pros and cons list. And I shouldn't try so hard to fix everything for everyone and then forgetting about me. If another colleague of mine can just say "no" then why can't I? Maybe I should discuss that? Just ask why he says no without feeling guilty etc...? Hmm...maybe. Maybe tomorrow evening, just for my own sake and learning process.
Decisions...decisions I don't want to make. At least I have tomorrow off.
