I'm halfway through my holiday. Just the fact that there are no obligations whatsoever makes me a different person. I think of work/school and I think I'm getting done with it more and more. I don't get any real joy out of it, and it's been like that for a long time. Sure there are days in which it all feels nice, but there are also loads of days I drag myself into work.
There is just this deep fear. Cause what if I decide to quit, then what? I have a house to pay for. Of course I could sell it, but then what? I want to be in control of it and have no faith whatsoever things might actually work out. As I also still have no clue what to really do with my life. I need a change. I need one for a long time, I just don't know what really.
Maybe I should have a talk with my boss next week and tell him that I feel I'm stuck at work and if he has any ideas about what else might be out there for me to do. And maybe I should also just write down a list of things I love and hate about the work I do now.
I wish I would have a clear image in my head of what I really would love to do. Also wish money wouldn't be an issue.
There is just this deep fear. Cause what if I decide to quit, then what? I have a house to pay for. Of course I could sell it, but then what? I want to be in control of it and have no faith whatsoever things might actually work out. As I also still have no clue what to really do with my life. I need a change. I need one for a long time, I just don't know what really.
Maybe I should have a talk with my boss next week and tell him that I feel I'm stuck at work and if he has any ideas about what else might be out there for me to do. And maybe I should also just write down a list of things I love and hate about the work I do now.
I wish I would have a clear image in my head of what I really would love to do. Also wish money wouldn't be an issue.
 | Tags: |