This morning I had this realistic fucked up dream about work. I woke up with adrenaline rushing through my body and it took me a good 5 minutes to calm down a bit.
In my dream it was upcoming Wednesday. I wanted to have a chat with my boss about the day after: did they find a replacement, etc...
I ended up in a small meeting room, with this other colleague who refused to teach that class for 2 days, my co-worker, my boss and his wife (who also works at the same school). They were all talking together and no way I was able to say anything. No one listened. So then I looked at the time and decided to go over the my new class to figure out what I'd have to do the day after. The other teacher from that class was sitting behind her desk and on the other side was a young woman. I grabbed a book and started to flip through it. And then just told this other teacher "Look, I know this isn't your fault, but I really don't want to teach this class. I hardly sleep these days and I'm really upset." She just looked annoyed. So then I flipped through the book some more and found some lessons for the next day. Then I learn that the young woman is actually going to be the new replacement teacher, but no one had told me. And it turned out I had to share the class with her for 2 days in order to help her around. At that point I just started to cry. Because I felt so unimportant and ignored. I walked over to the copy machine and this other colleague (the guy again who refused to teach the class) and he noticed me crying but ignored it, though asked (not sincere) if something was wrong. And I just yelled and said "Of course not!" and then walked away upset.
That's all I can remember, but so far it has messed with my day today. The anxious feeling just won't go away. Which sucks. Ugh...it's been on my mind all the time and that's just not okay! Right now i'm even thinking of just quitting the job altogether cause I'm sick of it all. Which is also just stupid. But if I really have to teach that other class then it really just means I don't get any joy out of it at all anymore. I teach a class on Monday afternoon because I was asked to do so. I teach another class on Wednesday, which was supposed to be temporarily, which I don't like, never have. The only two days I liked my job, was on Thursday and Friday when I had my own class to teach. Now that's been taking away from me as well. So far anyway. And really...I don't live to work, I work in order to live.
Sigh...I keep on ranting about this which must be annoying for everyone else to read. I just need to get it off my chest somewhere though.
Something completely different: a magazine is holding a writing competition this month. Only 1200 words. I might enter. Maybe something will come from that, would be nice!
In my dream it was upcoming Wednesday. I wanted to have a chat with my boss about the day after: did they find a replacement, etc...
I ended up in a small meeting room, with this other colleague who refused to teach that class for 2 days, my co-worker, my boss and his wife (who also works at the same school). They were all talking together and no way I was able to say anything. No one listened. So then I looked at the time and decided to go over the my new class to figure out what I'd have to do the day after. The other teacher from that class was sitting behind her desk and on the other side was a young woman. I grabbed a book and started to flip through it. And then just told this other teacher "Look, I know this isn't your fault, but I really don't want to teach this class. I hardly sleep these days and I'm really upset." She just looked annoyed. So then I flipped through the book some more and found some lessons for the next day. Then I learn that the young woman is actually going to be the new replacement teacher, but no one had told me. And it turned out I had to share the class with her for 2 days in order to help her around. At that point I just started to cry. Because I felt so unimportant and ignored. I walked over to the copy machine and this other colleague (the guy again who refused to teach the class) and he noticed me crying but ignored it, though asked (not sincere) if something was wrong. And I just yelled and said "Of course not!" and then walked away upset.
That's all I can remember, but so far it has messed with my day today. The anxious feeling just won't go away. Which sucks. Ugh...it's been on my mind all the time and that's just not okay! Right now i'm even thinking of just quitting the job altogether cause I'm sick of it all. Which is also just stupid. But if I really have to teach that other class then it really just means I don't get any joy out of it at all anymore. I teach a class on Monday afternoon because I was asked to do so. I teach another class on Wednesday, which was supposed to be temporarily, which I don't like, never have. The only two days I liked my job, was on Thursday and Friday when I had my own class to teach. Now that's been taking away from me as well. So far anyway. And really...I don't live to work, I work in order to live.
Sigh...I keep on ranting about this which must be annoying for everyone else to read. I just need to get it off my chest somewhere though.
Something completely different: a magazine is holding a writing competition this month. Only 1200 words. I might enter. Maybe something will come from that, would be nice!
