Well I know it's just a spring haze

 Seven years ago I came in contact with a girl from London, through a LJ friend. Her name was Judy. We shared the love for Tori Amos at the time. In april 2009 that same Tori was supposed to do a concert in London, where she would promote her new album. Judy invited me over and I had a week off from work then, so it was totally possible. Now...I'm not really a people kind of person. Being around people for 24/7 can be quite difficult for me, especially at that time of my life. But we clicked, instantly, when we met. Not once did I feel drained, exhausted, overwhelmed. I stayed at her house in the North of London, which was an amazing house. We watched a lot of AbFab episodes, we went to see Tori, who, for the first time ever, had to cancel due to no voice. We explored London together, and really had a wonderful time. I'm not quickly at ease with someone I just met, but we just clicked. 

That summer she same over to my country for a few days, and again, it was relaxed, lovely etc...

In september of that year we went to see Tori together again in London, and then also in Amsterdam. 

Since then we kept in touch, though we didn't visit each other anymore. But she was the best. 

Then tonight I got a message from a mutual friend. Last night she passed away, from complications of surgery she had just before. She was only 31 years old. I can't believe it. I had just this week thought of maybe visiting her again this summer. And now she's dead. How is this possible? I was just reading our email conversations again, how can this be? 

I'm the one with fucking cancer, and she dies of fucking pneumonia which she developed after surgery, which her heart couldn't take (she had a heart condition). 31 is too young to die. This world doesn't make any sense. 

Seventeen years ago my mom and dad announced that we would get 2 kittens. One for my sister and one for me. They were brothers and we decided to name them Timmie and Tommy. I remember the day we picked them up: 2 tiny balls of fluff. Tommy, my sisters cat, was curious and instantly walked towards us, Timmie, my cat, was shy and anxious.

They adjusted quickly to us and the house and enjoyed being together a lot. They'd climb your legs when they were about to get fed, they slept together, ran up and down the stairs a billion times etc…They were 2 amazingly wonderful cats, who we all loved dearly.
Then seven years later Tommy died, unexpectedly. I won't ever forget how his brother just stared at us, lost. Most heartbreaking thing.
But he adjusted and was pampered and loved a lot, still. I moved out of the house, to an apartment, and Timmie stayed with my parents. I often watched him when they went on a holiday and he was always just there.

He got older and older, he became deaf, he wasn't able to clean himself well anymore. Yet he was alive and often outside, enjoying himself.

This afternoon my mom showed up at work: she told me they had put him to sleep that afternoon after taking him to the vet. He hadn't eaten anything that day and the vet told my parents he was supposedly in quite a great deal of pain. It was up to my parents what they wanted to do and they decided to let him go. Which was the best decision they could have made. But still so extremely sad as well. Because holy shit, I've known him for half a lifetime. He was quite something. It's another chapter closed and it's sad. I won't ever have to look over him, I can't ever cuddle him anymore. I know it's for the best, but it is still so, so sad. :'(

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I remember the day my dad came home from work and brought a small computer with him. It was 1991. We'd never own a computer before. But my dad needed one for work and so his boss gave him an Apple Macintosh. A computer and small B&W screen all in one. It was the day we got introduced to Apple and I never used differently. 

I remember, back in the 90's, often apologizing to fellow students I couldn't exchange floppies with them, because the Mac couldn't read their format. But I also remember getting computer lessons at school where we had to learn DOS codes. And I always wondered why they didn't use a Mac.

I always loved working on my Mac: intuitive, smooth and clear looking. It almost never had any issues, from the odd 'bomb message we got'.
I remember that Apple became cool when Steve Jobs returned and released those colorful iMacs. I remember the first OS X being announced. It looked so sleek. And then the iPod (I got the first generation).

I still have one of the first all-in-one Macs we got. It has to be about 20 years old but it still works. I also have my iPod (the first generation one), my second iPod. My first generation iPhone. I still have the boxes that game with them. Because it's all designed beautifully. My sister still has my first white iMac, which still looks gorgeous. And still works. 

I'm an Apple fan by heart. Always have. Because they make amazing products that are not only good looking, but also simply just work.

This morning I woke up. I turned on the computer and read Steve Jobs had died. And I cried.