Safe heaven

[prettygoodyear]

Where is it these days? This safe heaven where I can go to? It's not within me, not even around me, not even close to me at all. I've never felt more alone and sad and hurt as the last couple of days. I can only feel nervous the last couple of days, and unloved and uncared about. People won't accept me for me, in fact, they try to tell me how wrong I am, and how my way of living is oh so wrong. They try to show me how good they are, better than me and how they want me to shut up. How they think i'm pathetic, only because i wanna understand things. how they ignore me, treat me like shit. Is this what i deserve? Almost no friends, an empty and lonely life where I'll get hurt over and over again? What did i do to deserve all this? People who told me in the past how happy they were the got to know me...why do they lieave all of a sudden without leaving a trace? Why do they all of the sudden just ignore me, pretend i'm not there. Why do people always pretend I have no feelings? Why does life suck so fucking much? Why can't i trust anyone anymore? So many why's and not one answer shows up that feels right...I wish I wasn't here...