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prettygoodyearI so often feel so guilty about so many things. I cancelled, for instance, the Wednesday night meetings today. Found it so hard. First called my mom to let her know and her instant reaction was "Awww, what a pity" and "That makes me quite sad" Instant guilt trip of course. Then I had to call the lady who organizes these nights and she was upset, but could understand. She wondered if it had something to do with her etc...More guilt build up.
Because I find it so hard to just say no to things, because I don't want to let people down or disappoint them. But I also realized that by going on with something I don't enjoy doing, I'm not really of great use either. Then it's better to quit.
I also felt the shame and guilt because why quit? Didn't I want to take on the course? Is it really that difficult to get out of the house for 3 hours and do something else? But it is.
And so then there's also the guilt about that and my feelings. My co-worker is having a really hard time. Her husband got fired last year and they have just recently opened a post office kind of store. It means she has to work 3 days at school and 3 days over there. Their income is way less than it used to be, she has a family to take care off etc...She's slightly depressed (no surprises there) but she keeps on going. She doesn't complain and just does her thing. But I get overwhelmed so easily, and by what really? I find myself comparing myself to her etc...And I shouldn't do it, because we're all different kind of people and we all feel and handle things differently. But still. Guilt trip again.
And I could go on and on and on with the list.
Because I find it so hard to just say no to things, because I don't want to let people down or disappoint them. But I also realized that by going on with something I don't enjoy doing, I'm not really of great use either. Then it's better to quit.
I also felt the shame and guilt because why quit? Didn't I want to take on the course? Is it really that difficult to get out of the house for 3 hours and do something else? But it is.
And so then there's also the guilt about that and my feelings. My co-worker is having a really hard time. Her husband got fired last year and they have just recently opened a post office kind of store. It means she has to work 3 days at school and 3 days over there. Their income is way less than it used to be, she has a family to take care off etc...She's slightly depressed (no surprises there) but she keeps on going. She doesn't complain and just does her thing. But I get overwhelmed so easily, and by what really? I find myself comparing myself to her etc...And I shouldn't do it, because we're all different kind of people and we all feel and handle things differently. But still. Guilt trip again.
And I could go on and on and on with the list.
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