12 February 2007

prettygoodyear: (bluebells)
Okay....there's this thing that I can't put my finger on, but that I hate.

It all started a few years ago with my dad. I would always be extremely cold towards him, whenever he asked me things or showed some real interest in me. There was just something, and I still don't know what it was, that made me act like a real bitch towards him. I hated it, and I hated myself for it, but I just couldn't stop acting like that. It just happened, or so it seemed.

Lately were good, but that's also cause I moved out of the house a few years ago.

However...I still find myself acting like this every now and then with other people. I snap at them, I act extremely cold towards them and it's just all too much. I hate it when it happens, but it happens, and as soon as I want to say something about it, I shut up and nothing comes out of my mouth.
It's uncomfortable for them, but also for me.

I think this is something I have to discuss with my mom tomorrow, during our daily chat. Cause obviously it's holding me back, and it's also hurtful to other people.
prettygoodyear: (Default)

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