Twenty years
5 January 2015 23:06 When you're a kid, 20 years is a long, long time. And 20 years of course, is a long time. 10 years is also sorta a long time, but 20...20 feels old, feels like a lifetime. And my memories my dear friends, my memories don't feel old. They don't feel like 20 years old.
I was reading in one of my old journals (and I hope to god no one will ever read them!) and I read about an event and then looked at the date and just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that it was from 20 years ago. Sure, it happened a few years ago, but 20? How can my life contain memories that span 20 fucking years that I can still vividly remember? I mean, primary school, yes, that is a long, long time ago, from another life and indeed more than 20 years ago. But high school? No way. 20 years from now I'll be 55. Like, wut?
I really can wrap my head around this, about time in general. I have so many vivid memories of so many thing, but somehow, all memories from high school on, they feel like I'm still part of that life. But I am not. I left high school 17 years ago. And yet those 7 years of high school feel a lot longer than those 17 years that passed ever since. It's just insane. It also makes me feel like "WTF have I actually done with my life in that past 10 years or so?" And I also realise how I still hold on to the past so very often. Because, like I said, it feels like I'm still living in that time, am still that teenager. But I am not. I'm 35 years old. And adult. And adult who still lives the life of a non-grownup. And maybe that's alright?
But fuck man, 20 years! It can't be. Time can't have passed that quickly. I mean, if those 20 years felt like they just happened...Rosalie and Madelief will be 25 and 22 in 20 years. Again, wut?
This entry was originally posted at http://prettygoodyear.dreamwidth.org/282032.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
I was reading in one of my old journals (and I hope to god no one will ever read them!) and I read about an event and then looked at the date and just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that it was from 20 years ago. Sure, it happened a few years ago, but 20? How can my life contain memories that span 20 fucking years that I can still vividly remember? I mean, primary school, yes, that is a long, long time ago, from another life and indeed more than 20 years ago. But high school? No way. 20 years from now I'll be 55. Like, wut?
I really can wrap my head around this, about time in general. I have so many vivid memories of so many thing, but somehow, all memories from high school on, they feel like I'm still part of that life. But I am not. I left high school 17 years ago. And yet those 7 years of high school feel a lot longer than those 17 years that passed ever since. It's just insane. It also makes me feel like "WTF have I actually done with my life in that past 10 years or so?" And I also realise how I still hold on to the past so very often. Because, like I said, it feels like I'm still living in that time, am still that teenager. But I am not. I'm 35 years old. And adult. And adult who still lives the life of a non-grownup. And maybe that's alright?
But fuck man, 20 years! It can't be. Time can't have passed that quickly. I mean, if those 20 years felt like they just happened...Rosalie and Madelief will be 25 and 22 in 20 years. Again, wut?
This entry was originally posted at http://prettygoodyear.dreamwidth.org/282032.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
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