a leter never sent
29 March 2004 20:54![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
prettygoodyearDear Jenneke,
About 3,5 years ago you ran into my life. Being my teacher and mentor. There instantly was something between you and me that I could barely touch, but which felt so protective and wonderful. It took me some time to trust you, even though my inner voice kept yelling at me, telling me I had to talk to you. Finally, right after x-mas, we had one of our first real talks about me. You made me feel like you actually did understand me. Like..you would never judge me. And that was a whole new experience for me. You just really listened to what i had to say.
After that first talk, many dear moments would follow. I remember this one talk we had around April about a paper I had written. We just went out for a walk cause the weather was so nice. And we would just sit somewhere, breathing in each others energy. I made you cry with a letter i had written for you and you almost made me cry with your comments. We were able to sit in silence as well.
I remember our last real talk, almost 2 years ago. I would almost graduate and had asked you to have a final meeting. We sat in the grass and you told me "I was a special person because I was one of the only people on this planet who allowed you to be just you. I made you think about life and everything"
It was one of the biggest compliments anyone had ever given me. A few days later you gave me 3 little stories about friendship. About "not ever forgetting about someone who is special to you etc..."
Then i left to Ireland for 3 months...the last email you sent me was the one where you talked so open about your dad...I tried to write you some emails after that but you never responded to me anymore.
Last week i looked you up on the internet. I went to the old school website and noticed you still work there and still have the same email address. I wrote you another email, more than a year after I had sent you the last one. Still no reply or whatsoever...
I miss you..you were like the only person on this planet who would understand me...you were like the only person on this planet i could really talk to. I miss you...and I simply don't understand why all of the sudden our friendship seems to be over...it hurts...more than you'll ever know...
About 3,5 years ago you ran into my life. Being my teacher and mentor. There instantly was something between you and me that I could barely touch, but which felt so protective and wonderful. It took me some time to trust you, even though my inner voice kept yelling at me, telling me I had to talk to you. Finally, right after x-mas, we had one of our first real talks about me. You made me feel like you actually did understand me. Like..you would never judge me. And that was a whole new experience for me. You just really listened to what i had to say.
After that first talk, many dear moments would follow. I remember this one talk we had around April about a paper I had written. We just went out for a walk cause the weather was so nice. And we would just sit somewhere, breathing in each others energy. I made you cry with a letter i had written for you and you almost made me cry with your comments. We were able to sit in silence as well.
I remember our last real talk, almost 2 years ago. I would almost graduate and had asked you to have a final meeting. We sat in the grass and you told me "I was a special person because I was one of the only people on this planet who allowed you to be just you. I made you think about life and everything"
It was one of the biggest compliments anyone had ever given me. A few days later you gave me 3 little stories about friendship. About "not ever forgetting about someone who is special to you etc..."
Then i left to Ireland for 3 months...the last email you sent me was the one where you talked so open about your dad...I tried to write you some emails after that but you never responded to me anymore.
Last week i looked you up on the internet. I went to the old school website and noticed you still work there and still have the same email address. I wrote you another email, more than a year after I had sent you the last one. Still no reply or whatsoever...
I miss you..you were like the only person on this planet who would understand me...you were like the only person on this planet i could really talk to. I miss you...and I simply don't understand why all of the sudden our friendship seems to be over...it hurts...more than you'll ever know...
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Aw sugar sugar
Date: 29/3/04 19:26 (UTC)You are putting out the energy, and the world knows it. The people not responding are the ones losing out.
But remember, all is not lost...I don't intend to let you be on this planet alone.
We must have a ddc (deep dark conversation) STAT.
Just know I love you hon.
Sorry if this is all googly-and-stuff, I just took a sleeping pill and it appears to be kicking innnnnnnnn.....
xxooxx