My heart is pounding, I've been incredibly anxious all day, and grumpy too. Cause the real world is really starting tomorrow again. I've been thinking a lot about other jobs and studies this last week. Looked up several studies that seemed fun. But the thought of having to go back to school for another 4 years is just causing me even more stress, which means that's not a road to follow. I also looked up fun courses. Photography, language etc...Just one night a week, for fun. I might just do that, to keep me entertained and to see if I can make a real hobby out of one of those things.
Have been talking to my mom and dad about it as well, though not really cause what's there to say? I don't have it clear in my head, so how can I make myself clear to them. But my dad told me he had always pictured me as someone who guided children individually. And my mum agreed. I can see that too, but still have no idea how. And what. Been looking up things about HSP, since I'm familiar with it, and I know that a lot of children are highly sensitive as well. Thought about maybe guiding those children. But then again: how, why, with what? So confusing.
In the next couple of weeks I'll be having a talk with my boss, about how I function as a teacher etc...But also about what goals I have. It's not something I fear, cause when I just tell him all is fine, he's fine with it too. But the thing is: I don't want to tell him all is fine. I just don't know what to tell him exactly.
I'm not sure...maybe it's the whole 'turning 30 in a couple of months' thing. I even thought about trying out The Secret: writing down what I want as clear as possible and send it into the universe. But as spiritual as I might be, I can also be the most negative person ever, lol. And then of course The Secret will never work, cause when you don't believe in it, than how can it ever work? And I find it scary as well (cause I think about all the consequences way too much!). I keep on thinking" What if my wish isn't clear enough and I get the total opposite of what I want?!
Gosh...I feel so weird right now, lol...The Secret?
But...back to work tomorrow, for real. It may go well, I may even enjoy it, or it will be a disaster, or an eye opener. I don't know. All I do know at the moment is that I don't know anything at all...
Have been talking to my mom and dad about it as well, though not really cause what's there to say? I don't have it clear in my head, so how can I make myself clear to them. But my dad told me he had always pictured me as someone who guided children individually. And my mum agreed. I can see that too, but still have no idea how. And what. Been looking up things about HSP, since I'm familiar with it, and I know that a lot of children are highly sensitive as well. Thought about maybe guiding those children. But then again: how, why, with what? So confusing.
In the next couple of weeks I'll be having a talk with my boss, about how I function as a teacher etc...But also about what goals I have. It's not something I fear, cause when I just tell him all is fine, he's fine with it too. But the thing is: I don't want to tell him all is fine. I just don't know what to tell him exactly.
I'm not sure...maybe it's the whole 'turning 30 in a couple of months' thing. I even thought about trying out The Secret: writing down what I want as clear as possible and send it into the universe. But as spiritual as I might be, I can also be the most negative person ever, lol. And then of course The Secret will never work, cause when you don't believe in it, than how can it ever work? And I find it scary as well (cause I think about all the consequences way too much!). I keep on thinking" What if my wish isn't clear enough and I get the total opposite of what I want?!
Gosh...I feel so weird right now, lol...The Secret?
But...back to work tomorrow, for real. It may go well, I may even enjoy it, or it will be a disaster, or an eye opener. I don't know. All I do know at the moment is that I don't know anything at all...