I wonder why
6 January 2014 18:21![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
prettygoodyear I wonder why we often are so hard on ourselves. Why it's so hard to just accept yourself and be okay with yourself. Why is it so much easier to see the good in other people, but not yourself? How doest that work? And how can you change it, for good? I really wonder about it. I am so good at spotting my own faults, I find it so hard and difficult to believe I am good at something, that I am okay. But why? Because it is fucking up my life so much, it's preventing me from true happiness and peace. And yet I can't seem to change it.
I so desperately want to see in myself what I see in other people. I so desperately want to be happy with myself, be happy with life. But I am not, at all and I am so sick of it. Why am I so hard on myself? I so often want to find the reset button, but I never seem to find it. Sigh.
I really find it so difficult to just keep on going and I feel terribly guilty about it. But it's so tiring when each day feels like such a huge battle, because you're constantly wondering if you're okay enough, not hurting or disappointing anyone. It's so tiring to always feel you're not good enough, to feel invisible and worthless. I so often feel like I don't belong here, at all, so often feel like an alien in this world and I don't want that anymore. But somehow I can't seem to change it and I just keep on going, not knowing into what direction, not feeling truly alive.
I am extremely sorry for being such a debby downer btw, feel free to ignore this post. It just seem to be this endless struggle...
This entry was originally posted at http://prettygoodyear.dreamwidth.org/265436.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
I so desperately want to see in myself what I see in other people. I so desperately want to be happy with myself, be happy with life. But I am not, at all and I am so sick of it. Why am I so hard on myself? I so often want to find the reset button, but I never seem to find it. Sigh.
I really find it so difficult to just keep on going and I feel terribly guilty about it. But it's so tiring when each day feels like such a huge battle, because you're constantly wondering if you're okay enough, not hurting or disappointing anyone. It's so tiring to always feel you're not good enough, to feel invisible and worthless. I so often feel like I don't belong here, at all, so often feel like an alien in this world and I don't want that anymore. But somehow I can't seem to change it and I just keep on going, not knowing into what direction, not feeling truly alive.
I am extremely sorry for being such a debby downer btw, feel free to ignore this post. It just seem to be this endless struggle...
This entry was originally posted at http://prettygoodyear.dreamwidth.org/265436.html. Please comment there using OpenID.