Yesterday I went to visit a cousin of mine. She's five years younger than me and recently moved to her own (temporary) home. It was fun, though also extremely exhausting, mostly because it took me all in all 5 hours of traveling.
It was also interesting, because she's an extremely outgoing person. She needs to be surrounded by loads of people all the time, has loads of friends etc...Made me feel quite uncomfortable really, because of course I'm still not finding myself to be worth of anything really and always think other people do it all better than me. And it's also funny how outgoing people just always think that what they do is right, if your more introvert, you're instantly boring. She didn't mean anything with it, but it's just telling really how calm and quiet is still not really accepted in a lot of parts of this world.
I came home at about 11.30 at night and was exhausted but also felt quite down. But after a night of sleep I can say that I'm happy her life isn't mine. It's just not me. What I regret though, is that I didn't express myself better about it. There was still a feeling of shame and loser and so I kept even more quiet. When will I learn that I'm an okay person as well no matter what?
It was also interesting, because she's an extremely outgoing person. She needs to be surrounded by loads of people all the time, has loads of friends etc...Made me feel quite uncomfortable really, because of course I'm still not finding myself to be worth of anything really and always think other people do it all better than me. And it's also funny how outgoing people just always think that what they do is right, if your more introvert, you're instantly boring. She didn't mean anything with it, but it's just telling really how calm and quiet is still not really accepted in a lot of parts of this world.
I came home at about 11.30 at night and was exhausted but also felt quite down. But after a night of sleep I can say that I'm happy her life isn't mine. It's just not me. What I regret though, is that I didn't express myself better about it. There was still a feeling of shame and loser and so I kept even more quiet. When will I learn that I'm an okay person as well no matter what?
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