Just got back from spending the weekend with mum and sis in the south of Holland. I wasn't too sure wether or not to look forward to it, cause I know that I'm not always as much fun. But the weekend was so lovely and great. We made some walks, went shopping yesterday etc...We even went out for a walk last night and went to the nearest town for a drink, and ended up staying there for a while, playing games and such. It was just pure bliss. I love my mom and sister. I was so scared I would be the odd one out, but that wasn't the case at all. It was all just perfect. We had some intense talks, a few good laughs and it was just all good. We're planning to do it again!
And now I'm back in the real world again. Noticed that I got a call from work, so no doubt they'll be calling back tonight asking me to work tomorrow. Freaking me out big time. I can say no, but it most likely means I'll be teaching a class on Tuesday that I don't want to teach. But since I work that day, but have no class, I'll have to take care of it. Major freak out.
Last night I had a dream about work. I was teaching, and all of a sudden a colleague entered my class and interrupted me. And then my boss came and said I had a new child in class which he forgot to tell. And I freaked out. I ran out of class, and hit in the toilet, but then the same colleague showed up there as well and I tried to hide the tears and told her I couldn't take it anymore, all those things that were never told, but just showed up etc...
It all became too much and I ended up running away from work. A couple of hours I returned, and my boss and other colleagues looked pissed. Cause I'd been gone just like that. One of them asked: "Well, who's gonna tell us this won't happen again?" And I said: "Well, it's just very likely it will happen again. Cause I can't take it anymore."
And then my co-worker stood up and was really caring and told me she would take care of it for me.
I woke up crying. Without the tears, but with the terrible feeling hidden inside me. It felt all too real. I remember that when I showed up at work again, and told them all I couldn't handle it anymore, that I felt relieved: I would be able to get professional help, and I would be able to think everything through without the stress of work. Too real this dream...
And now I'm back in the real world again. Noticed that I got a call from work, so no doubt they'll be calling back tonight asking me to work tomorrow. Freaking me out big time. I can say no, but it most likely means I'll be teaching a class on Tuesday that I don't want to teach. But since I work that day, but have no class, I'll have to take care of it. Major freak out.
Last night I had a dream about work. I was teaching, and all of a sudden a colleague entered my class and interrupted me. And then my boss came and said I had a new child in class which he forgot to tell. And I freaked out. I ran out of class, and hit in the toilet, but then the same colleague showed up there as well and I tried to hide the tears and told her I couldn't take it anymore, all those things that were never told, but just showed up etc...
It all became too much and I ended up running away from work. A couple of hours I returned, and my boss and other colleagues looked pissed. Cause I'd been gone just like that. One of them asked: "Well, who's gonna tell us this won't happen again?" And I said: "Well, it's just very likely it will happen again. Cause I can't take it anymore."
And then my co-worker stood up and was really caring and told me she would take care of it for me.
I woke up crying. Without the tears, but with the terrible feeling hidden inside me. It felt all too real. I remember that when I showed up at work again, and told them all I couldn't handle it anymore, that I felt relieved: I would be able to get professional help, and I would be able to think everything through without the stress of work. Too real this dream...
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