My sister and her boyfriend were supposed to visit my parents this afternoon and my dad called me up this morning, asking me if maybe I wanted to come as well. Of course I wanted to, cause my sister will go on a holiday next week and I wanted to say goodbye to her.
But when I arrived at my parent's house, my sister was first going somewhere else.
So...we had some coffee and some apple pie and we just talked about this and that. And all of a sudden the conversation became more serious. My dad told me he had the idea he and my mom still make too many decisions for me, and while he agreed on helping me with the front garden, he found it a bit sad to notice that I just hadn't asked him to help him. He offered the help, but he also realized it's all mine and it actually should be the other way round.
From there on things got very emotional, for me anyway. I was finally able to tell them both how this house has never felt like a real house. It doesn't have my soul and vice versa. And that because of that, things involving my house don't really mean that much. I can't motive myself to make it look pretty, cause there's just no real love for it.
Of course my mom confronted me with it all and told me that maybe the house was fine, the neighborhood was fine and everything else was fine, but that my expectations were different, and once it turned out it didn't live up to it, I fought of my emotions and everything else.
She might be right. There's still a long way for me to go though.
My dad didn't really understand it. He was more like "Well, it's obvious, get over it etc.." He didn't mean it to sound like this, but as always it's hurtful. I don't like to dwell on things, and deep down inside I know that it could be easy, but when you feel like you're stuck and you've got no idea where to go, it's actually not that easy.
Something else: it was 2.30 this morning when I finished the last Harry Potter book. Now I have to re-read it, cause I was running through the pages cause I just had to know how to story would end. Now it's time to re-read it, and read it well. And then re-read it again when the Dutch version of the book comes out this November.
But gosh...I remember that 6 years ago I read all 4 books in a row, and I finished book 4 at about the same time I finished this book. And I had no idea what to do with myself. And now there's no other book to look forward to. It's all over. Amazing...
But I have to say this book was stunning. I absolutely loved it, beginning till end.
But when I arrived at my parent's house, my sister was first going somewhere else.
So...we had some coffee and some apple pie and we just talked about this and that. And all of a sudden the conversation became more serious. My dad told me he had the idea he and my mom still make too many decisions for me, and while he agreed on helping me with the front garden, he found it a bit sad to notice that I just hadn't asked him to help him. He offered the help, but he also realized it's all mine and it actually should be the other way round.
From there on things got very emotional, for me anyway. I was finally able to tell them both how this house has never felt like a real house. It doesn't have my soul and vice versa. And that because of that, things involving my house don't really mean that much. I can't motive myself to make it look pretty, cause there's just no real love for it.
Of course my mom confronted me with it all and told me that maybe the house was fine, the neighborhood was fine and everything else was fine, but that my expectations were different, and once it turned out it didn't live up to it, I fought of my emotions and everything else.
She might be right. There's still a long way for me to go though.
My dad didn't really understand it. He was more like "Well, it's obvious, get over it etc.." He didn't mean it to sound like this, but as always it's hurtful. I don't like to dwell on things, and deep down inside I know that it could be easy, but when you feel like you're stuck and you've got no idea where to go, it's actually not that easy.
Something else: it was 2.30 this morning when I finished the last Harry Potter book. Now I have to re-read it, cause I was running through the pages cause I just had to know how to story would end. Now it's time to re-read it, and read it well. And then re-read it again when the Dutch version of the book comes out this November.
But gosh...I remember that 6 years ago I read all 4 books in a row, and I finished book 4 at about the same time I finished this book. And I had no idea what to do with myself. And now there's no other book to look forward to. It's all over. Amazing...
But I have to say this book was stunning. I absolutely loved it, beginning till end.
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