Well I know it's just a spring haze

for weeks...no years actually, I've been trying to close a certain chapter, but always was afraid to. I think I've closed it today though. I'm not gonna tell anyone what chapter it was, but it was something i wanted to do for so long, but always was afraid to. I did it today. I never expected it would be like this though, never wanted it to be like this. I thought now that i could close the chapter, it would allow me to think clear again, but it left me even more confused.
There's still a little bit I need to do, to not only close the chapter, but also finish the entire book.
It's about time. For years and years I tried to finish the book, but never could cause I couldn't close the chapter. It was never the right way to finish. Maybe now I can do it. Maybe now I can finally finish the book, and move on. Really move on.
For years and years I imagined things differently than they were. I once knew what it was, but forgot. I remember it all again now though, and I think I may be able to do something with it. I have to...for me...only for me. Finish the story, finish the book...really finish it, finish it my way.

Do I talk in riddles? Yes, I do. Tough!

And god, I feel so weird right now...but I have to do this, I really, really have to finish the book. I have to...I just want to think of it with a smile on my face, knowing it's all good now, it's really good now...