prettygoodyear: (Default)
 FFS, since october of this year I've been having on and off bladder infections. They took samples of it to the lab, only to tell me that the antibiotics they gave me are supposed to work. They do, for the time I take them and then days later it's back, again. I finally decided to cut all sugar from my diet to see if it would make a difference, it seemed to work (and maybe it still does) but then all of a sudden all symptoms of a bladder infection returned. I take cranberry pills daily, which is supposed to prevent a bladder infection from developing, but it's not working. Yesterday at work we had a lunch which I ate because I thought it couldn't to much damage, but this early morning I went to the toilet and FUCK!

I also see a acupuncturist every few weeks and she told me my body might be having all these infections, because my intestines might not be working properly, not getting rid of waste products properly. It then tells my body to use my bladder, kidneys etc...to get rid of all the waste, which then might result in a bladder infection. Fact is: before this year I never had one infection (well, once as an 8 year old girl) and this year it's been on and off. Mentally I've never felt better, or at least not in a long long time, so all these infections don't seem to make any sense. Maybe I need to change my diet even more, I have no idea. Maybe I should see someone who can figure it out for me. Anything that will help me to get rid of all these infections though!

(and now off to vacuum upstairs, because that too needs to be done)
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prettygoodyear: (random - hobbes up close)
 I helped my parents with their garden today. They decided to get rid of the pond, and just transform the garden completely. They did a lot of work the past 2 days, but I offered to help today because they always help me as well. 
It was a LOT of work, a lot of digging, of getting rid of ground, plants, stuff. Then sand had to be transported from a huge pile outside the garden into the garden. Which was also super heavy and just draining. 

At 4:00 we called it quits, because our bodies were too tired to move. And yet we still only managed to do so much.
And now my body is aching and I doubt tomorrow will be a great day to move. But alas, it felt good to do this as well. 

I also made a list of pros and cons of quitting my job. The pros were endless, the cons basically only "steady income". 
I was re-reading old journals of mine the other day and oh the times I wrote about how unhappy my job makes me, how it stresses me out a lot...it's been like this for so many years now but I keep doing it because it means a steady income. 

Once I am teaching, it's not all bad. But I'm done with preparing lessons over and over again, with writing reports, study plans etc...I still doubt my teaching capabilities and most of the time I'm too buy with work in my head. And it causes stress. No ice if any other job would cause less stress, but it's time to say goodbye to this job. I managed to do it for 12 years, but doing it for another 12 years is just not going to make a happy person. 

Working fulltime is nice, but I still miss my freedom. It's nice to be able to be in control of things, but my weekends feel too short and teaching 5 days is just giving me enough positive energy. 

No decisions have been made, but more and more I begin to think and feel that it's time to say goodbye. 
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prettygoodyear: (Default)

December 2019

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