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prettygoodyearLast entry was about saying goodbye to 2009. But this is also the end of the noughties. So this is another reflecting post.
The year 2000 marked an important period in my life and I seriously can't believe it has been 10 years. I remember that in January of that year I had asked for a talk with my teacher at college. Jenneke. It was on a Friday, after school. We talked for a good hour. About me, school, life in general. We connected on such a deep level, which at that time was so important for me. Cause I felt so lost then. After that first real talk, others followed. One of the most intense talks happened in April of that year. She had read my paper and gave me a 10, or A+ for it. Normally papers were discussed with students in about 15 minutes time, but she told me she wanted to talk to me on another date and time so we could talk without time restrictions. We ended up on a bench outside and talked for what seemed hours. Again, so special. And again, I can't believe it's been that many years.
She was a person that changed my life. She believed in me, but she also introduced me to philosophy. During the 2,5 years of college that followed we would often come together and talk, thinking and sharing really deep thoughts.
I remember that in 2001, after 9/11 we also went for a walk, and again, we connected on such a deep level. One of those moments I'll never forget.
In 2002 I graduated. She wrote me 3 stories, which made me cry. And we went for a final walk. She told me how happy she was she got to know me. Told me I was different from other students and people. When I told her she's helped me so much with my life and struggles, she told me I had helped her in so many ways as well.
I went to see her one other time in 2004, and that was the end of it. I sometimes read back in old journals and I always realize how lucky I was, and still am. I miss her, still, but also know that what once was, is no longer there anymore. We both needed each other at that time, and then it was time to move on.
2001 was the year of my first Tori concert. Which was so amazing! It wasn't until 2005 I first met her.
After I graduated, I wanted to travel first, before going to work. At that time I had joined the Sony Tori forum. There I met some other, wonderful people. One girl being Inge, who happened to live in The Netherlands as well. We met in August of that year and she was the one that told me to go to Ireland. Which is what I did on September 1st of that year. I went there for 3 months. I had saved enough money to just travel around, on my own. Even though I was homesick a lot there, they were the best 3 months of my life. I really got in touch with myself there. And I'm still so happy I decided to travel first before starting a job.
In 2003 I moved out of my parents house to live on my own in an apartment. The first few months were a struggle. I missed my old house, old bedroom, old habits. But then all of a sudden the apartment became my home. I cherish warm memories of that place.
In 2006 I moved into the house I live in now. I was looking forward to it loads, but when I finally moved into the house, all the joy was gone. I got into a serious depression. I had no idea how I would ever feel happy again. I was anxious all the time. I couldn't enjoy anything anymore, didn't want to spend any time at home cause it didn't feel like home. Mostly due to a neighbor who had serious issues: always playing loud music, but also just being surrounded by a negative aura.
When he moved at the end of 2006, I slowly became myself again. My house slowly started to feel like home, but it wasn't till half way through 2007 I finally felt home in my house.
In 2008 I found myself stuck in life. But it wasn't till this year until I really found myself back again.
All in all the last 10 years have been wonderful and intense. And loads of other things happened, good things, bad things. But all things that helped me become the person I am now. And it's interesting to look back on the last 10 years. And despite the bad things that happened, I'm happy to have been able to experience these 10 years. And I'm curious what the next 10 years will bring!
The year 2000 marked an important period in my life and I seriously can't believe it has been 10 years. I remember that in January of that year I had asked for a talk with my teacher at college. Jenneke. It was on a Friday, after school. We talked for a good hour. About me, school, life in general. We connected on such a deep level, which at that time was so important for me. Cause I felt so lost then. After that first real talk, others followed. One of the most intense talks happened in April of that year. She had read my paper and gave me a 10, or A+ for it. Normally papers were discussed with students in about 15 minutes time, but she told me she wanted to talk to me on another date and time so we could talk without time restrictions. We ended up on a bench outside and talked for what seemed hours. Again, so special. And again, I can't believe it's been that many years.
She was a person that changed my life. She believed in me, but she also introduced me to philosophy. During the 2,5 years of college that followed we would often come together and talk, thinking and sharing really deep thoughts.
I remember that in 2001, after 9/11 we also went for a walk, and again, we connected on such a deep level. One of those moments I'll never forget.
In 2002 I graduated. She wrote me 3 stories, which made me cry. And we went for a final walk. She told me how happy she was she got to know me. Told me I was different from other students and people. When I told her she's helped me so much with my life and struggles, she told me I had helped her in so many ways as well.
I went to see her one other time in 2004, and that was the end of it. I sometimes read back in old journals and I always realize how lucky I was, and still am. I miss her, still, but also know that what once was, is no longer there anymore. We both needed each other at that time, and then it was time to move on.
2001 was the year of my first Tori concert. Which was so amazing! It wasn't until 2005 I first met her.
After I graduated, I wanted to travel first, before going to work. At that time I had joined the Sony Tori forum. There I met some other, wonderful people. One girl being Inge, who happened to live in The Netherlands as well. We met in August of that year and she was the one that told me to go to Ireland. Which is what I did on September 1st of that year. I went there for 3 months. I had saved enough money to just travel around, on my own. Even though I was homesick a lot there, they were the best 3 months of my life. I really got in touch with myself there. And I'm still so happy I decided to travel first before starting a job.
In 2003 I moved out of my parents house to live on my own in an apartment. The first few months were a struggle. I missed my old house, old bedroom, old habits. But then all of a sudden the apartment became my home. I cherish warm memories of that place.
In 2006 I moved into the house I live in now. I was looking forward to it loads, but when I finally moved into the house, all the joy was gone. I got into a serious depression. I had no idea how I would ever feel happy again. I was anxious all the time. I couldn't enjoy anything anymore, didn't want to spend any time at home cause it didn't feel like home. Mostly due to a neighbor who had serious issues: always playing loud music, but also just being surrounded by a negative aura.
When he moved at the end of 2006, I slowly became myself again. My house slowly started to feel like home, but it wasn't till half way through 2007 I finally felt home in my house.
In 2008 I found myself stuck in life. But it wasn't till this year until I really found myself back again.
All in all the last 10 years have been wonderful and intense. And loads of other things happened, good things, bad things. But all things that helped me become the person I am now. And it's interesting to look back on the last 10 years. And despite the bad things that happened, I'm happy to have been able to experience these 10 years. And I'm curious what the next 10 years will bring!
